Marriage and Divorce

Introduction:

Marriage is a sacred institution that has profound implications for individuals, families, and society as a whole. However, in a world filled with challenges and temptations, navigating the complexities of marriage can be difficult. This article delves into the topics of marriage, divorce, adultery, pornography, Baal, and happiness, exploring how God’s wisdom and guidance can lead to successful, fulfilling marriages.

The Reality of Marriage and Divorce:

Marriage is intended to be a lifelong commitment, a covenant between a man and a woman. However, the reality is that marriages face numerous challenges. Financial difficulties, unrealistic expectations, and the influence of external factors can strain the marital bond. These challenges often lead to marital breakdown and the painful process of divorce.

Understanding Adultery and Its Consequences:

Adultery, the betrayal of marital vows, is a devastating breach of trust. Jesus emphasized that adultery is not limited to physical acts but also includes the intentions and desires of the heart. In Matthew 5:27-28, Jesus said, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” This statement reveals that looking at pornography and lusting after what is seen is considered adultery in the heart. Engaging in such behavior not only damages the sacred bond of marriage but also raises questions about the genuineness of one’s faith and salvation.

The Impact of Pornography on Marriage:

The rise of online pornography has had a significant impact on marriages. Pornography distorts healthy sexual intimacy, fosters unrealistic expectations, and erodes trust within the marital relationship. It replaces genuine connection and intimacy with shallow, objectifying images, leading to dissatisfaction and discord. Furthermore, according to Jesus’ words on adultery in the heart, consuming pornography contributes to the adultery committed within one’s heart, further damaging the sanctity of the marital relationship. Couples must confront the damaging effects of pornography, seek healing, and strive to rebuild trust and intimacy through open communication, professional help, and most importantly, sincere repentance.

The Perils of Porn-Fueled Fantasies in Marriage

In today’s digital age, where explicit content is just a few clicks away, the impact of pornography on marriages cannot be ignored. However, it is not just the explicit material itself that poses a threat to the health of a marriage. There is another insidious force at play: the allure of unrealistic fantasies perpetuated by media, including the popular Hallmark movie concept.

These “porn-ful” thoughts, reminiscent of porn addiction, are deeply rooted in the perpetual fantasy stories portrayed in media, where everything seems perfect, and the woman is always right. In these narratives, a man arrives on a proverbial white horse, fulfilling the woman’s every desire, whether it’s helping her run a successful bakery, excelling in her realtor career, or supporting her ambitions in advertising or marketing. The manifestations of such fantasies in a person’s mind mirror those of someone addicted to pornography, leading to dissatisfaction with their own spouse.

Why does this happen? Constant exposure to the fantasy-driven world, be it through explicit content or idealized media, bombards individuals with unrealistic expectations. Just like the lust-filled crescendo depicted in pornography, these fantasies create a longing for a key moment, often catalyzed by some tragedy, that promises ultimate fulfillment. The price paid for such unrealistic expectations can be detrimental to a woman’s contentment within her marriage, much like how the lust depicted in porn affects a man’s heart, leading to dissatisfaction with his own wife.

It is worth noting that both genders are susceptible to the detrimental effects of these porn-fueled fantasies. The demon god of dagon, symbolizing temptation and seduction, finds a fertile ground in the realm of fantasy. Regardless of whether one spends endless hours consuming explicit content or immerses themselves in media that caters to women’s desires, the underlying experience of succumbing to lustful thoughts remains the same. The only difference lies in the presence or absence of clothing.

Clothing, however, is not the core issue here. As Jesus wisely reminds us, the true battleground is the heart. To cultivate a healthy and fulfilling marriage, we must first surrender our hearts to God and then to one another. It is through this process that we can guard our hearts against the destructive influences of pornography and unrealistic fantasies. By seeking God’s guidance and committing to genuine connection with our spouse, we pave the way for a thriving marriage, understanding that the heart is the wellspring from which the issues of life flow.

Pornography is Associated with Lower Relationship Quality
Couples where both partners report that they do not use pornography report the highest levels of relationship stability, commitment, and relationship satisfaction; with
90% or above of these couples reporting that their relationship is stable, committed, and satisfying to them as a couple. 

Young Americans do not think pornography is a negative thing.

When they speak about pornography with friends, 90 percent of teens (ages 13 to 17) and 96 percent of young adults (ages 18 to 24) say they do so in a neutral, accepting, or encouraging way. Only one in 20 young adults and one in 10 teens say their friends think viewing pornography is a bad thing. Teens and young adults say “not recycling” is more immoral than viewing pornography.

Porn and Pastors:

Most pastors (57%) and youth pastors (64%) admit they have struggled with porn, either currently or in the past.
Overall, 21% of youth pastors and 14% of pastors admit they currently struggle with using porn.
About 12% of youth pastors and 5% of pastors say they are addicted to porn
87% of pastors who use porn feel a great sense of shame about it.

55% of pastors who use porn say they live in constant fear of being discovered.
The vast majority of faith leaders who struggle with porn say this has significantly affected their ministry in a negative manner. It is not clear why, but youth pastors are twice as likely as pastors to report this kind of unfavorable impact.

Pastors are human beings, just like King David was, whom Christ Himself has chosen to help protect, teach, and lead His people, His Church. However, they are also human and, like anyone else, they need support and openness to overcome the challenges they face. Whether it is to find freedom from the assault of pornography or to simply stay clear of its influence, pastors require the same help that others do. Pastoring a church may be one of the hardest things God has called a person to do. With that pressure comes great struggles in relationships, marriage, and family. Did you know:

1,500 pastors leave the ministry each month due to moral failure, spiritual burnout or contention in their churches.
4,000 new churches begin each year, but over 7,000 churches close.
50% of pastors’ marriages will end in divorce.
80% of pastors and 84% of their spouses feel unqualified and discouraged in their role as pastors.
70% of pastors do not have a close friend, confidant, or mentor.
80% of seminary and Bible school graduates who enter the ministry will leave the ministry within the first five years.
90%t of pastors said their seminary or Bible school training did only a fair to poor job preparing them for ministry. 
90% of pastors said the hardest thing about ministry is dealing with uncooperative people. 
80% of pastors’ spouses feel their spouse is overworked.
80% of pastor’ wives feel left out and unappreciated by the church members.
80% of pastors’ spouses wish their spouse would choose another profession.
70% of pastors constantly fight depression.
40% of pastors polled said they have had an extra-marital affair since beginning their ministry.
80% of adult children of pastors surveyed have had to seek professional help for depression.

You can see from these revealed realities in this survey that pastors need help. It is one of the burdens that the Lord has laid on Pastor Greg Lancaster’s heart to be there for pastors who feel called to relate to him as a spiritual father in Christ Jesus. Every pastor needs a pastor. “I cannot express my gratitude for and emphasize the vital importance of having Pastor John Kilpatrick as my spiritual father in Christ Jesus,” Pastor Greg said. He has been there with me through the many ups and downs of life and ministry, through church uprisings, celebrations of great achievements, and just being there to relate to,” Lancaster goes on to say. He was blessed not only to have Pastor Kilpatrick in his life as a spiritual father but also Ken Sumrall, who is now with the Lord. “Brother Ken loved to laugh and share humor. He would correct you at the drop of a hat but move on past the correction so quickly that you had to almost struggle to recall it happened. He loved to come together and fellowship, call you on the phone and chat, or grab lunch together,” said Lancaster. “I long to be there for pastors like I have been so blessed to have fathers in the Lord who have been and are there for me even to this day,” Lancaster continues.

When your pastors have a pastor, you will find that you have a pastor, a healthier and better pastor. It is important to encourage your pastor to prayerfully seek a relationship with a pastor who is called to shepherd them and their spouse. Everyone needs someone who loves and affirms them for who they are and challenges them to achieve all that God has called them to. The following excerpts of positive words are taken from “Words Every Child Must Hear” by Cynthia Good. With slight modifications, they can be appropriate for one’s spiritual sons and daughters:

I like you just the way you are.
You are a part of me, an important one.
I enjoy doing things for you.
I love spending time with you.
I am interested in the things you do.
I care about how you feel.
I am a safe person for you; you can tell me your problems.
Let’s have some fun together.

Jesus spoke about the significance of having a good “head” in Matthew 6:22, saying, “If the eyes are dark, then the whole body is dark, and how great is that darkness.” This passage reminds us of the importance of being cautious and turning to God, as James warned about being enticed and dragged away by the temptations of our current dark culture, which seeks to seduce society with the false god Baal and its perversions.

When pastors struggle, it directly affects the church as a whole. Therefore, we all need to separate ourselves from the enticements of this world and be on guard against falling into its traps that appeal to our fleshly nature. “Come out from among them and be separate, says the Lord. Do not touch what is unclean, And I will receive you.” 2 Corinthians 6:17 (NKJV)

Taking inspiration from the story of Jehoiada and King Joash of Israel in 2 Kings 11:17-18, we see the power of making a covenant with the Lord and committing ourselves to be His people. Just as the people of the land tore down the temple of Baal, smashed the altars and idols, and eliminated the priest of Baal, we too must be resolute in removing the presence of Baal and its evil sexual practices from our midst. This involves addressing the industry that produces, broadcasts, and makes pornography available to the people of our nation.

Dealing with the issue of pornography requires a profound heart transformation and strong leadership commitment within a nation. By actively working towards its complete removal, along with those who promote and perpetuate it, we can combat the destructive influence of pornography and strive towards a society that honors God and upholds His standards of purity.

Related: Outright Assault on Human Sexuality

The A.I. Dilemma and The Church, Artificial Intelligence

Loneliness

“If I got to be lonely, dear Lord, please let me be alone.” – T. D. Jakes. There is an epidemic of loneliness, isolation, depression, and suicide being caused by AI (Artificial Intelligence) isolation or AII (Artificial intelligence Isolation). People are becoming increasingly isolated from meaningful relationships, including their marriage and family, due to the allure of social media and online platforms. Social disconnection, lack of support networks, changes in community structures, and excessive reliance on technology and social media contribute to this issue. However, Proverbs 18:24 to have a friend in your life, you have to be a friend to someone else. If you do not sacrifice your time and life to be a friend to another, you want to have someone in your life who will do the same for you. Many people want a friend, but they want a “designer friend” that is exactly what they want in a friend, which is unrealistic. And of course, just like God’s word says, they do not have any true friends. There is nothing more joyful and painful than authentic relationships with other people, but it will require you to prioritize having them as God Himself did to have them.

It is intriguing to observe the correlation between the rise of social media and the internet and the corresponding increase in loneliness, isolation, depression, and suicide across all age groups. Building and maintaining meaningful relationships requires effort, sacrifice, and personal investment. However, contemporary cultural norms often portray social connection as optional and too painful, leading individuals to seek virtual fulfillment for their personal needs. So, many who seek relationships outside of God’s design, do so through artificial intelligence systems, like Replika, are designed to cater to one’s desires and can be chosen as substitutes, for your god, for genuine human interaction. It is crucial to remember that we were created in the image and likeness of God and designed for relationships with God and other humans. Finding true fulfillment in images or artificial substitutes is elusive, and according to God’s word, turning away from God and His design towards such things (images of the real thing) will lead to a downward dark, destructive, twisted, and eventual insane spiral in our lives.

Signs of the Times: Last Days

‘For men will be lovers of themselves…rather than God.’ This verse highlights a self-centered and pleasure-seeking attitude that prioritizes personal desires and gratification over devotion to God. 2 Timothy 3:2 The use of pornography, or AI for relationship, couldn’t define being a “lover of oneself” more than anything else. As Christians it is important that we turn to the Lord, asking Him to free us from, keep us from, and help turn our eyes from the major assault towards all humanity with pornography in all it’s forms.

As a Christian, it is crucial to discern the times we live in and strive to counteract the self-centeredness and worldly values that can prevail. Instead, we are called to pursue a life that is pleasing to God, characterized by selflessness, love for others, and a dedication to honoring Him in all aspects of our lives.

The Call to Repentance and Restoration:

Recognizing the harmful effects of pornography, AI Isolation, and the serious nature of adultery in the heart, it is essential for individuals to seek repentance and restoration. Jesus used strong language in Matthew 5:29-30, stating, “If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.” While these words are not to be taken literally, they serve as a vivid illustration of the seriousness of sin and the need for radical measures to avoid it. They emphasize the urgency of addressing the issue of pornography, AI isolation, repenting from it, and seeking God’s forgiveness. Yet, what Jesus says about hell potentially being in our future if we do not cut these things out our lives should be taken literally. Jesus not only wants us all to be in heaven with Him, He is preparing a place for us to be there with Him, yet we have to choose Him over all these things the world offers us.

Seeking Healing and Restoration:

Overcoming the impact of pornography on marriage requires open communication, professional help, and a sincere commitment to repentance and restoration. Addictions, distractions, and bondages often originate in darkness, within the depths of hidden places. Therefore, it is vital to wholeheartedly step into the light, allowing God’s illuminating presence to expose all the darkness in our lives. By acknowledging, seeking forgiveness for, repenting of, and staying in the light, we can address the destructive influence of pornography.

Couples should actively engage in honest conversations, creating a safe space to express their feelings, concerns, and struggles related to pornography. By fostering an environment of trust and understanding, partners can work together towards healing and recovery. Seeking guidance from trusted counselors or participating in support groups specialized in dealing with pornography addiction can offer valuable assistance throughout the healing process. These professionals possess the expertise and knowledge to provide effective strategies and tools for overcoming the challenges posed by pornography.

Above all, couples must turn to God, recognizing the need for His forgiveness, grace, and strength to overcome the damaging effects of pornography. Through prayer, repentance, and a genuine desire to rebuild their marital bond, couples can experience divine intervention and restoration. Trusting in God’s healing power and relying on His guidance can help couples rebuild trust, intimacy, and a healthy sexual relationship.

By actively engaging in open communication, seeking professional help, and wholeheartedly turning to God, couples can overcome the impact of pornography and embark on a journey towards healing, restoration, and renewed intimacy within their marriage.

Conclusion:

Marriage is a beautiful yet challenging journey that requires commitment, sacrifice, and unwavering love, yes this includes pastors and their marriages as well. By recognizing the destructive impact of pornography and adultery in the heart, addressing these issues with genuine repentance, and seeking God’s forgiveness, couples can build a strong foundation for a successful and fulfilling marriage. Placing God at the center of the relationship, nurturing open communication, and embracing His principles of love, faithfulness, and mutual support, couples can experience true happiness, fulfillment, and a lifelong bond that reflects God’s design for marriage.

Remember, marriage is a continuous journey of growth and transformation. By turning away from the destructive influences of pornography, seeking God’s guidance, and walking in obedience to His teachings, couples can overcome challenges, restore brokenness, and build a vibrant, God-centered marriage that stands as a testimony of His love and faithfulness.

Nurturing a God-Centered Marriage: Overcoming Challenges, Pastor’s Marriage, Dangers of Pornography, A.I. push of the god Baal, Pursuing Faithfulness, and Finding True Happiness